Okay, so I rarely have a final thought about anything because I'm perpetually analyzing everything. So, really, these are final thoughts for the moment, and I recognize that in a few months, or years, or even days, I might feel differently.
The last couple of weeks in Caracas were good. The kids club finished on a relatively quiet note, since we had lower numbers during the last week. We attributed this to the fact that school had dismissed for the summer, and the kids were not on such a structured schedule anymore. The team in Caracas is exploring ways to build on the relationships that were formed this summer so they can continue to be a light in the neighborhood.
On our second to last weekend in Venezuela, I went with my summer leader and the other summer intern to a Benedictine monastery. To say I enjoyed myself would not come close to how powerful the experience was for me. Having grown up Catholic, but more recently spending time in evangelical environments, it was a powerful return to the roots of my spirituality. We were invited, though not required, to attend the six or so daily prayer times with the monks. The first one was at 5:30am, following a 5am bell to wake everyone. I found that I relished those times, would arrive ten to fifteen minutes early for each one, and looked forward to the next. During the times when I wasn't praying with the monks, I enjoyed strolling the grounds (you can see some photos someone else took at http://news.webshots.com/photo/1156682204033582113ryYAmc), napping in my room, or having quiet time alone to journal and pray. I went through a few chapters of a book called "Can You Hear Me?" on listening prayer, and had some powerful experiences through that. I loved the structure of the monastery, and realized something about myself that seems kind of obvious, yet had never occurred to me before. I know that in my work life and even in my home life, that I like structure, and I work best within an existing framework. Generally I am not a person who has grand visions of how things could be, or comes up with creative ideas out of the blue, but I am creative and visionary when I am working within a structure. So if I work best within structure in other areas of my life, why wouldn't my spiritual life be more fruitful if it also reflected that part of my personality? Paradoxically, a sense of routine often offers me a sense of freedom. The time in the monastery renewed me, and I feel a desire to return to my Catholic roots. I don't yet know what exactly this will look like, and it is something I'll be exploring in the coming months.
Another revelation for me this summer also involved the theme of freedom. While structure can be liberating for me in some ways, I also sometimes use it to imprison myself. I haven't always felt the freedom in my life to try things and see what happens. Usually I want to know if something is the "right" choice before I've even done it! This has often held me back from taking risks and trying new things that could be life-giving because I stand before the doors of choice and feel paralyzed to actually decide, and then I end up staying outside, not doing anything and still feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled. I am beginning to realize for myself, finally, that God did give us a will and freedom for a purpose, and I believe he would rather have us move and take a risk than sit in fear and do nothing.
Yet another lesson for me this summer was to accept grace. I often feel like I have to earn God's approval, despite many homilies and sermons to the contrary. However, this summer I feel like I experienced the grace and love of God through the team with whom I lived and worked. While I did help with the kids club this summer, the impact of my personal contribution was probably minimal. They could have done it without me. I don't think I did anything to detract from the team's relationships in the neighborhoods, but I probably didn't do a whole lot to enhance them either. I was mostly a recipient of the love and patience of the team and their neighbors. Everyone I met was friendly and interested in what I was doing. The team members spent hours listening to me and processing with me. Their hospitality was gracious and heartfelt, though I had little to extend in return. Accepting generosity can be much harder than offering it, and a little humility on my part this summer to be in a position of receiving love and service was possibly more valuable than anything I could have offered.
I've been back in the U.S. now for about three weeks. Generally, the transition hasn't been that hard. I think this is due in great part due the fact that I've done this sort of thing before, as when I returned from Calcutta, so I'm not as shocked by the cultural adjustment, and I also know how to deal with those feelings when they do come up. A big change in coming back is that I decided to leave my job at THINK Together, where I had worked for a little over three years. Working at THINK Together was a wonderful experience, and I am grateful for all that I learned in my time there that will continue to serve me in the future. However, I have felt for awhile that I was ready to move on to something else, and being away from the job for a time gave me some freedom to make that choice. In making that decision, I recognized that this is a time when many people are struggling to find jobs, and that it seemed a bit selfish of me to turn my nose up at one I already had. However, I trust that God will provide for my needs, and I am thankful that I have some money saved, that I have a home, and that by choosing to leave my position I was providing an opportunity for someone else.
So, now what? Good question. My experience in Venezuela this summer was wonderful, but I don't feel like Venezuela is a fit for me right now. I really liked InnerCHANGE, so I would consider pursuing opportunities to join them in other places. However, I'm not sure that's what I want to do, so right now I'm open to considering many avenues. My plan for the next few months is to try to do some temp work while I spend time discerning what my next steps could look like. It's exciting to be in a place where I feel open to just about anything, and yet for a person who likes order, it's also gives me a bit of anxiety. However, for the moment I am enjoying this gift, and thanking and praising God for the incredible blessing this trip will continue to be in my life.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Preparing to Leave
Tonight is my last night in Caracas. We leave tomorrow morning at 5am. There is so much to think about and reflect on as I return. I know it's going to take weeks, months, and years to process this experience.
Last week we finished the kids club. The kids really seemed to enjoy their time, and I hope we were able to be a blessing for them. When I first arrived I wondered a lot about the purpose of having Americans here when it seemed like Venezuelans could just be peacemakers and bearers of the Good News among themselves. Yet, in our time in the barrio, we haven't met anyone who at this time is willing and prepared to take on that step of leadership. Part of InnerCHANGE's mission is to develop local leaders, and that is something the team here has been working on since they first arrived. It's also been interesting to see how the team is able to be so prophetic among Venezuelans. Whenever we tell Venezuelans where we live, they are always completely surprised and can't believe we live in a barrio. If you aren't from a barrio, you would never dream of going to one because of the fear of violence. Many Venezuelans are learning from us how to live in the barrio, in solidarity with our neighbors.
At the same time, we also learn daily from our Venezuelan neighbors. They are a huge blessing of protection for us, looking out for our safety. They are people just like us, living life, caring for family, doing laundry, cooking, etc. Waking up at 5am to stand outside and wait for gas for your stove on the one day a week it comes is a way of bonding with your neighbors, as is having your clothes smell moldy because it rained while they were drying, or having to set traps for mice and chase away the cockroaches. Living also means sharing meals, sharing sorrows, and always, always celebrating!
At first everything here seemed so different and challenging for me. Now, riding the jeep up and down the hill, shopping in the market, and taking cold showers just seems like normal life. I'm grateful I had the opportunity to get past the first few weeks of discomfort to arrive at this place of normalcy. Because it seems normal to me now, I'm also able to view the individuals living in the barrio as people like me, not people to be pitied or people to be put on a pedestal as the poor who are just grateful to receive a little. Each one has a personality, has likes and dislikes, and strengths and weaknesses. What we can offer each other is our varying experiences of life and worldview, and use those relationships to shape the way we love and live out our callings from God.
Last week we finished the kids club. The kids really seemed to enjoy their time, and I hope we were able to be a blessing for them. When I first arrived I wondered a lot about the purpose of having Americans here when it seemed like Venezuelans could just be peacemakers and bearers of the Good News among themselves. Yet, in our time in the barrio, we haven't met anyone who at this time is willing and prepared to take on that step of leadership. Part of InnerCHANGE's mission is to develop local leaders, and that is something the team here has been working on since they first arrived. It's also been interesting to see how the team is able to be so prophetic among Venezuelans. Whenever we tell Venezuelans where we live, they are always completely surprised and can't believe we live in a barrio. If you aren't from a barrio, you would never dream of going to one because of the fear of violence. Many Venezuelans are learning from us how to live in the barrio, in solidarity with our neighbors.
At the same time, we also learn daily from our Venezuelan neighbors. They are a huge blessing of protection for us, looking out for our safety. They are people just like us, living life, caring for family, doing laundry, cooking, etc. Waking up at 5am to stand outside and wait for gas for your stove on the one day a week it comes is a way of bonding with your neighbors, as is having your clothes smell moldy because it rained while they were drying, or having to set traps for mice and chase away the cockroaches. Living also means sharing meals, sharing sorrows, and always, always celebrating!
At first everything here seemed so different and challenging for me. Now, riding the jeep up and down the hill, shopping in the market, and taking cold showers just seems like normal life. I'm grateful I had the opportunity to get past the first few weeks of discomfort to arrive at this place of normalcy. Because it seems normal to me now, I'm also able to view the individuals living in the barrio as people like me, not people to be pitied or people to be put on a pedestal as the poor who are just grateful to receive a little. Each one has a personality, has likes and dislikes, and strengths and weaknesses. What we can offer each other is our varying experiences of life and worldview, and use those relationships to shape the way we love and live out our callings from God.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Two Observations About Discrimination
I've noticed a couple of interesting things about discrimination here:
1) In the newspaper, there are job notices. Some of these include very specific criteria, such as "woman, aged 20-25, looks nice, college degree." I was rather surprised to find that you can specify not only the gender of the person you want to hire, but also the age, and also hire based on physical appearance.
2) One thing I've really come to appreciate about living in the barrio is that there is no discrimination of people based on skin color. A person as light-skinned as me could marry someone with very dark skin, and no one would even think to care. There are all shades of skin represented here, and everyone just lives together without even thinking of segregating based on that. It's very refreshing and encouraging. I think it also generates, or perhaps is evidence of, a stronger sense of community.
1) In the newspaper, there are job notices. Some of these include very specific criteria, such as "woman, aged 20-25, looks nice, college degree." I was rather surprised to find that you can specify not only the gender of the person you want to hire, but also the age, and also hire based on physical appearance.
2) One thing I've really come to appreciate about living in the barrio is that there is no discrimination of people based on skin color. A person as light-skinned as me could marry someone with very dark skin, and no one would even think to care. There are all shades of skin represented here, and everyone just lives together without even thinking of segregating based on that. It's very refreshing and encouraging. I think it also generates, or perhaps is evidence of, a stronger sense of community.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
My Day at the Beach
So, ever since I arrived we've talked about going to the beach. I was very excited about the thought of swimming in the Caribbean and all that. So, we planned to go this past Wednesday. However, when we woke up, it was cloudy. We decided to go anyway, and took the metro downtown to catch a bus. We'd lathered up with sunscreen and de-haired ourselves (shaving your legs is pointless when you only ever wear pants), except I was going to have them help me with putting sunscreen on my back once we got to the beach. Anyway, when we arrived downtown it was about 9:30, and it was starting to rain. We were totally bummed, but decided to use the bathroom in the mall. Adrienne was suffering from a little of the Big D (diarrhea), and the first bathroom was closed, so we had to find a second one. Then we decided to get some chicha, a local rice milk drink that's kind of like Mexican horchata but sweeter and thicker. The KT and Adrienne were all excited for me to get to try some good chicha that was made with purified water, since most of it on the streets is not, but it turned out to be some of the nastiest they've had! Then we sat in the mall and talked for awhile, before the sun finally started to come out at around 11:30. We decided we'd still try to make it to the beach, even if we could only be there for about three hours, so we got on the bus.
About twenty minutes into the ride, the money collector got made at KT for having her feet on the seat. He proceeded to glare at us for the next half hour. Then we got into conversation with some people around us. Everyone had different advice on what beach we should stop at, and with the money collector finally smiling at us, we chose one. However, when we got to the beach we realized we should have listened to one of the warnings of the Venezuelans on the bus because it was totally rocky. There was a small roped off area where people were swimming, kind of like the kids' section on a lake. I was thinking, I didn't come to the beach for this! We decided to walk a little farther to the next beach over, which looked a little better. The clouds were ominous, but at least we kind of had the place to ourselves.
We went in for our first swim, and then laid down for awhile. It started to rain, but we endured. KT and I went in the water and were floating around when we both kept feeling like we were being stung. Then we noticed a huge brown blog in the water, and we quickly swam to shore! She was still stinging from what we think was a jellyfish, so we applied some anti-sting stuff. We got hungry and decided to get some lunch at a little hut nearby. We ate some really expensive fish, which of course arrived as a whole fish, tail and eye included. Adrienne had a seafood soup, which was basically broth with claws. At that point the sun was finally coming out, so we thought we'd enjoy another 45 minutes of sun and surf before heading home. Just as we were ready to leave, and I was finally dry, I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, and as the ocean was going to be my only option for the next hour or so, I figured I'd go back in. The waves were really rough, and kind of got knocked over, so that when I got out I realized my suit was full of rocks and sand, and I needed to go back in to get it out. I was trying to get back to a deeper part, but the current had gotten really strong, so I was stuck in the shallow rocky area. A big wave kind of pushed me over, and then I saw another huge one coming! It was starting to crest, so I knew I had no chance of riding it. I plugged my nose and closed my eyes, and the wave totally pushed me into the rocks. My sunglasses were gone, as was my hair tie. I stumbled to my feet, tugging on the bottom of my tankini. My eyes were full of salt water, soI couldn't see very well. I was starting to stagger toward the beach when I discovered that I was topless! My tankini top had been pushed down, and I was standing there bare-chested! I'm sure the other man in the ocean fully appreciated the free show. I pulled up my suit and gotup onto the beach where I discovered that my legs and arms were bleeding from being scraped on the rocks, and I now had more rocks and sand than ever in my suit!
So, wewent back to the kiddie beach where I went back in to rinse off. We then ran to catch a bus back to the city. Wemet up with a friend for ice cream, and got home around 8:30. I really wanted to shower, but needed to do a little laundry first (it's done by hand here), so as I was doing that, the phone rang and it was one of the team members wanting to hear about what happened. As I was describing that, I was attacked by a huge cockroach! It flew into my leg, then into the bathroom. Then I discovered I had a sunburn on my back because we had forgotten to put on the sunscreen. Then I bumped my head on the concrete doorjamb.
All in all, it was quite a day! I really couldn't stop laughing, and I was very thankful to God so be with such nice people to help me survive!
About twenty minutes into the ride, the money collector got made at KT for having her feet on the seat. He proceeded to glare at us for the next half hour. Then we got into conversation with some people around us. Everyone had different advice on what beach we should stop at, and with the money collector finally smiling at us, we chose one. However, when we got to the beach we realized we should have listened to one of the warnings of the Venezuelans on the bus because it was totally rocky. There was a small roped off area where people were swimming, kind of like the kids' section on a lake. I was thinking, I didn't come to the beach for this! We decided to walk a little farther to the next beach over, which looked a little better. The clouds were ominous, but at least we kind of had the place to ourselves.
We went in for our first swim, and then laid down for awhile. It started to rain, but we endured. KT and I went in the water and were floating around when we both kept feeling like we were being stung. Then we noticed a huge brown blog in the water, and we quickly swam to shore! She was still stinging from what we think was a jellyfish, so we applied some anti-sting stuff. We got hungry and decided to get some lunch at a little hut nearby. We ate some really expensive fish, which of course arrived as a whole fish, tail and eye included. Adrienne had a seafood soup, which was basically broth with claws. At that point the sun was finally coming out, so we thought we'd enjoy another 45 minutes of sun and surf before heading home. Just as we were ready to leave, and I was finally dry, I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, and as the ocean was going to be my only option for the next hour or so, I figured I'd go back in. The waves were really rough, and kind of got knocked over, so that when I got out I realized my suit was full of rocks and sand, and I needed to go back in to get it out. I was trying to get back to a deeper part, but the current had gotten really strong, so I was stuck in the shallow rocky area. A big wave kind of pushed me over, and then I saw another huge one coming! It was starting to crest, so I knew I had no chance of riding it. I plugged my nose and closed my eyes, and the wave totally pushed me into the rocks. My sunglasses were gone, as was my hair tie. I stumbled to my feet, tugging on the bottom of my tankini. My eyes were full of salt water, soI couldn't see very well. I was starting to stagger toward the beach when I discovered that I was topless! My tankini top had been pushed down, and I was standing there bare-chested! I'm sure the other man in the ocean fully appreciated the free show. I pulled up my suit and gotup onto the beach where I discovered that my legs and arms were bleeding from being scraped on the rocks, and I now had more rocks and sand than ever in my suit!
So, wewent back to the kiddie beach where I went back in to rinse off. We then ran to catch a bus back to the city. Wemet up with a friend for ice cream, and got home around 8:30. I really wanted to shower, but needed to do a little laundry first (it's done by hand here), so as I was doing that, the phone rang and it was one of the team members wanting to hear about what happened. As I was describing that, I was attacked by a huge cockroach! It flew into my leg, then into the bathroom. Then I discovered I had a sunburn on my back because we had forgotten to put on the sunscreen. Then I bumped my head on the concrete doorjamb.
All in all, it was quite a day! I really couldn't stop laughing, and I was very thankful to God so be with such nice people to help me survive!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Valuing Life
I think that in the U.S. when we talk about valuing life, it often refers to a few hot topics: abortion, capital punishment, and euthanasia. Personally, I agree that they are all life issues, but I think there is more to valuing life than focusing on it's earthly beginnings and ends.
Here are some examples of ways in the last week or so that I have been challenged to value life:
Parties
Celebrations in Venezuela are a big deal, especially for birthdays. In the last week I have had the opportunity to attend two surprise birthday parties at the same house. It's a small home, with one bedroom, a kitchen area, and a living area. The living room is probably about the size of an average bedroom in the U.S. (not as big as a master bedroom), but it has about three couches and a small entertainment center in it. There were about fifteen of us at the parties, I think. We had popcorn and danced. Music is a big part of life here, but at the first party the electricity went out so we made our own. It made for a really special occasion, actually. We also had cake, of course, but here's it's served with Jell-O instead of ice cream. In the house live an older woman, her daughter, and the daughter's four children. One of them is a girl, and the other three are boys. All the boys have muscular dystrophy, and they recently lost an older fourth brother. It's rare to live past the age of twenty with this disease, so the future seems bleak for the other three, who continue to experience degeneration themselves. It's incredibly sad and tragic, yet, the family and neighbors are wonderfully loving in the way they include the boys in the activities. It's an odd experience, I imagine, to watch all three dying before your eyes. At the same time, I was struck by the fact that actually that's happening to all of us, just at a slower pace. I think it makes it easier to not think about death when it's not so obviously looming, but how would our lives be different if we did acknowledge it?
Violence
There is a lot of violence in the barrios. We are careful about not being out too late at night. We are almost always home in the early evening, and if we can't get home by 10pm we'll probably spend the night where we're at. Where we live is actually not too bad, especially because we benefit from the longevity of the team here, and the relationships they've formed. There are definitely people around who look out for us. In the barrio where we have been running the kids club, we have heard about violence since day one. Sometimes it's hard to overcome the fear of it when I go, and yet I know that my life is not any more valuable than one of the lives there, and fear is not from God. It also helps to know, for my own safety at least, that most of the violence is not random. As I've mentioned in previous posts, there is a strong sense of vengeance, so most violence is a response to a previous incident. This past Tuesday we were heading to the neighborhood for the afternoon kids club. Two motorcycles of police passed us, which I noticed. Though I've always been pretty observant, I think my time in Santa Ana has sharpened my observation skills regarding public safety. Anyway, a man on the street pointed them down in a certain direction. When we got near the area I saw a large crowd of people. At that point we turned down a street to go to the chapel where we hold the club. We were setting up when a young man we know came in and told us that someone had been shot. Shortly after that his aunt came and said that no mothers would be letting their kids go to the club that day, and that for our own safety we should leave. Before leaving we prayed for awhile in the chapel. At that point another of our contacts came and said it had been a fifteen year old boy that had been shot and killed. Apparently the boy had been threatening and shooting at other people, and for that reason other people had been hunting him for quite awhile. I guess they saw him riding on his motorcycle, and took advantage of the opportunity. Pondering the violence here has raised some interesting emotions for me. Having to think about it all the time in my work, and yet not having a close Christian community outside of work with whom to process, has meant that I've resorted to my own devices to deal with it. A result of this has been a sort of fatalistic callousness to the whole thing, where I'm not so touched by it. In a way I think you have to develop a tough skin to be able to move on, and yet the problem with this is that when you don't care as much anymore, you also don't care as much to try to stop it. I've lost some of my passion and compassion to seek peace because it's hard to continue to care that much. As a group we also talked about the different ways we all grieve in these situations, and I'm realizing that for myself, I need to be more intentional about my grieving process, and make sure it's something I don't deal with simply in my head, but that my heart is involved as well.
Sharing a Meal
This week I had the opportunity to go with our group to have dinner with a Venezuelan couple that we know. They have been loosely involved with some of InnerCHANGE's activities here for quite awhile. I've met them a few times already this summer, and really enjoy their company. The husband prepared a chicken curry with roti. His family is originally from Guyana, a neighboring country with a strong Indian influence. The food was absolutely amazing, but more so the company. The couple are two individuals that are great to talk with about all kinds of things. They are thoughtful and engaged, yet fun and humorous. Such times are moments I cherish even at home, and yet all the more so in a foreign country. Despite our cultural and language differences, we are still able to connect on a deep level because of our common faith and values. I was totally fed by that meal.
I only have two weeks left here in Caracas, so I am seeking to make the most of that time, and continue to enjoy life as it's lived here.
Here are some examples of ways in the last week or so that I have been challenged to value life:
Parties
Celebrations in Venezuela are a big deal, especially for birthdays. In the last week I have had the opportunity to attend two surprise birthday parties at the same house. It's a small home, with one bedroom, a kitchen area, and a living area. The living room is probably about the size of an average bedroom in the U.S. (not as big as a master bedroom), but it has about three couches and a small entertainment center in it. There were about fifteen of us at the parties, I think. We had popcorn and danced. Music is a big part of life here, but at the first party the electricity went out so we made our own. It made for a really special occasion, actually. We also had cake, of course, but here's it's served with Jell-O instead of ice cream. In the house live an older woman, her daughter, and the daughter's four children. One of them is a girl, and the other three are boys. All the boys have muscular dystrophy, and they recently lost an older fourth brother. It's rare to live past the age of twenty with this disease, so the future seems bleak for the other three, who continue to experience degeneration themselves. It's incredibly sad and tragic, yet, the family and neighbors are wonderfully loving in the way they include the boys in the activities. It's an odd experience, I imagine, to watch all three dying before your eyes. At the same time, I was struck by the fact that actually that's happening to all of us, just at a slower pace. I think it makes it easier to not think about death when it's not so obviously looming, but how would our lives be different if we did acknowledge it?
Violence
There is a lot of violence in the barrios. We are careful about not being out too late at night. We are almost always home in the early evening, and if we can't get home by 10pm we'll probably spend the night where we're at. Where we live is actually not too bad, especially because we benefit from the longevity of the team here, and the relationships they've formed. There are definitely people around who look out for us. In the barrio where we have been running the kids club, we have heard about violence since day one. Sometimes it's hard to overcome the fear of it when I go, and yet I know that my life is not any more valuable than one of the lives there, and fear is not from God. It also helps to know, for my own safety at least, that most of the violence is not random. As I've mentioned in previous posts, there is a strong sense of vengeance, so most violence is a response to a previous incident. This past Tuesday we were heading to the neighborhood for the afternoon kids club. Two motorcycles of police passed us, which I noticed. Though I've always been pretty observant, I think my time in Santa Ana has sharpened my observation skills regarding public safety. Anyway, a man on the street pointed them down in a certain direction. When we got near the area I saw a large crowd of people. At that point we turned down a street to go to the chapel where we hold the club. We were setting up when a young man we know came in and told us that someone had been shot. Shortly after that his aunt came and said that no mothers would be letting their kids go to the club that day, and that for our own safety we should leave. Before leaving we prayed for awhile in the chapel. At that point another of our contacts came and said it had been a fifteen year old boy that had been shot and killed. Apparently the boy had been threatening and shooting at other people, and for that reason other people had been hunting him for quite awhile. I guess they saw him riding on his motorcycle, and took advantage of the opportunity. Pondering the violence here has raised some interesting emotions for me. Having to think about it all the time in my work, and yet not having a close Christian community outside of work with whom to process, has meant that I've resorted to my own devices to deal with it. A result of this has been a sort of fatalistic callousness to the whole thing, where I'm not so touched by it. In a way I think you have to develop a tough skin to be able to move on, and yet the problem with this is that when you don't care as much anymore, you also don't care as much to try to stop it. I've lost some of my passion and compassion to seek peace because it's hard to continue to care that much. As a group we also talked about the different ways we all grieve in these situations, and I'm realizing that for myself, I need to be more intentional about my grieving process, and make sure it's something I don't deal with simply in my head, but that my heart is involved as well.
Sharing a Meal
This week I had the opportunity to go with our group to have dinner with a Venezuelan couple that we know. They have been loosely involved with some of InnerCHANGE's activities here for quite awhile. I've met them a few times already this summer, and really enjoy their company. The husband prepared a chicken curry with roti. His family is originally from Guyana, a neighboring country with a strong Indian influence. The food was absolutely amazing, but more so the company. The couple are two individuals that are great to talk with about all kinds of things. They are thoughtful and engaged, yet fun and humorous. Such times are moments I cherish even at home, and yet all the more so in a foreign country. Despite our cultural and language differences, we are still able to connect on a deep level because of our common faith and values. I was totally fed by that meal.
I only have two weeks left here in Caracas, so I am seeking to make the most of that time, and continue to enjoy life as it's lived here.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Reconciliation
Lately I've wondered a lot about what my role is here. I continue to learn, learn, learn every day, but so much of this experience seems about how I am growing, and not what I am offering. This is not that surprising, given that in such a short trip it's difficult to imagine a significant impact on anyone's life besides my own.
One thing is clear - in order to best be a servant and disciple of Jesus among the poor, my attitude must always be one of humility and dying to myself in order that others may live. I feel helpless to offer any suggestions or programs or ideas that can help in the barrios, much less even do something. So often my idea of Christian service revolves around help in a material way, such as helping to provide food or assisting someone with a physical ailment, or working to improve housing situations.
However, while all of those are needs here, they are actually often met by the government. As I've mentioned before, Venezuela as a country actually has quite a lot of money, and because it's socialist, there are many programs to provide for people's physical and material needs. Each neighborhood has a government-sponsored casa comunal and a consejo comunal, basically a house and council that exist to serve the community. They even offer things like aerobics classes! Food is easily obtained if you are poor, and many of the homes where are neighbors live sprung up when the president told people "Here is some land. If you don't have a place to live, you can make one here."
What emerges to me now as something us gringos who follow Jesus can offer is to be ministers of reconciliation. Basically all of the violence here springs from acts of revenge. In the neighborhood where we are doing the kids club, there is a long history of violence. Shamefully for us, it started when Air Jordans arrived in Caracas and someone was killed for his shoes. That began a run of violence that has literally died down - it is restlessly quieter because most of the people involved in the violence have died. In the kids club we have an opportunity to model and teach the power of love and forgiveness. This is a foreign concept to many of the people we meet. Just yesterday someone on the team was talking with a man on the street. Our teammate asked him about what might happen if someone were to ask forgiveness for something, and the man said, "no, no. They might say sorry, but never ask for forgiveness. No." Our teammate kept pressing, but the man could not imagine such a thing ever happening. Yet, if a spirit of forgiveness were to invade the hearts of the neighbors, it's mind boggling to think of how things could change. This generation would have hope, instead of fear.
Discerning the way to transmit this message of hope and forgiveness is our challenge.
One thing is clear - in order to best be a servant and disciple of Jesus among the poor, my attitude must always be one of humility and dying to myself in order that others may live. I feel helpless to offer any suggestions or programs or ideas that can help in the barrios, much less even do something. So often my idea of Christian service revolves around help in a material way, such as helping to provide food or assisting someone with a physical ailment, or working to improve housing situations.
However, while all of those are needs here, they are actually often met by the government. As I've mentioned before, Venezuela as a country actually has quite a lot of money, and because it's socialist, there are many programs to provide for people's physical and material needs. Each neighborhood has a government-sponsored casa comunal and a consejo comunal, basically a house and council that exist to serve the community. They even offer things like aerobics classes! Food is easily obtained if you are poor, and many of the homes where are neighbors live sprung up when the president told people "Here is some land. If you don't have a place to live, you can make one here."
What emerges to me now as something us gringos who follow Jesus can offer is to be ministers of reconciliation. Basically all of the violence here springs from acts of revenge. In the neighborhood where we are doing the kids club, there is a long history of violence. Shamefully for us, it started when Air Jordans arrived in Caracas and someone was killed for his shoes. That began a run of violence that has literally died down - it is restlessly quieter because most of the people involved in the violence have died. In the kids club we have an opportunity to model and teach the power of love and forgiveness. This is a foreign concept to many of the people we meet. Just yesterday someone on the team was talking with a man on the street. Our teammate asked him about what might happen if someone were to ask forgiveness for something, and the man said, "no, no. They might say sorry, but never ask for forgiveness. No." Our teammate kept pressing, but the man could not imagine such a thing ever happening. Yet, if a spirit of forgiveness were to invade the hearts of the neighbors, it's mind boggling to think of how things could change. This generation would have hope, instead of fear.
Discerning the way to transmit this message of hope and forgiveness is our challenge.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Daily Life
I thought you might be interested to hear some of the details about daily living here in the Caracas barrios, so here's kind of a rundown:
Food
I was a little worried in coming here that I might have to eat eggs (which I HATE), because eggs are a staple food of the world. However, I have thankfully managed to avoid that distressing possibility! Since I've had diarrhea for three fourths of the time I've been here, if I eat breakfast I usually have just some bread. We get bread from the bakery a couple of times a week. Arepas are the most common food here. If you're not familiar, try to imagine the masa from a tamale, but about five inches across and maybe half an inch thick. You either fry it or pan cook it, and then split it and put cheese or ham or something inside. They are pretty tasty, and a big staple. The team leader family here has them for dinner every night. Also here you can get empanadas, which are made from a similar kind of masa, but will have meat or cheese already cooked inside, and those are fried and also very good. We eat plenty of platanos (like a banana), fried or toasted and those are really good. You can get plenty of fruit like mangos, bananas, pineapples, etc., and most of it's pretty good. I've also had chicha once, (which is not the chicha from the jungle, if you know what I mean), and it's sort of like horchata but with condensed milk, and it was delicious! A favorite beverage here is malta, which is fairly similar to rootbeer.
Transportation
To get down the hill from the barrio, we catch a jeep. The jeeps go up and down the hill all day long, and they have two long bench seats in the back where ten people will cram in. Then we might get on the metro, which is actually really nice, and that could take us downtown. It's very inexpensive to take public transportation here. There are also buses and taxis, of course. Most things are at a fixed price. The buses are not as crowded as I experienced in Ecuador where people are just hanging out the side, and they are also cleaner.
Shopping
Shopping is a very tiresome experience here because you have to go to so many different places to get just a few things. You almost never bargain here, which came as a surprise. To get general groceries we take a jeep down the hill and there is a market where we go to different stalls to get produce, coffee, bread, etc. The team knows the people they usually buy from, but I've only gone with them a couple of times so I'm still figuring it out. Last night I took a bus with one of the team members to a drug store, and it was very similar to an American drugstore. It was kind of a relief to be in a clean place with familiar looking items and a familiar way of buying them. They do have malls here, but I haven't been to any yet. We also have little bodegas in the neighborhood, which are like mini-marts attached to someone's home. You can buy basics at the bodega, like eggs, pop, chips, candy, etc. We buy our water at a hardware store in a big jug, and that seems to last us about a week.
Life in the House
To get to the house, you have to go down a couple of dozen stairs, all of which are different and steep. It makes me feel like we're entering a hobbit hole or something. We're under someone else's house, but we can go up to the balcony, which is great. At night with all of the lights it's an amazing view. The water in the shower is very cold, so showers are quick. You can't put any toilet paper down the toilet, so that all goes in the trash. In the kitchen you have to turn on the gas and light the stove with a lighter, but it's pretty efficient. There are lots of little ants in certain places of the house, but as they're so small and not everywhere, it's not too bothersome. We did trap a mouse the other night, after we kept hearing it. I also had seen it one night in the bathroom, and then once it ran down from the sink and across my foot. We set the trap and caught it, which was kind of sad for the mouse, but we sleep better now. We keep all of our dry goods in a big plastic tub so that creatures cannot get to it, and everything else goes in the refrigerator. I'm sleeping on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed and have a little dresser to keep my clothes in. We don't have a washing machine, so we pay a neighbor to wash it in hers, and then she hangs it to dry and we pick it up.
I'll post more soon!
Food
I was a little worried in coming here that I might have to eat eggs (which I HATE), because eggs are a staple food of the world. However, I have thankfully managed to avoid that distressing possibility! Since I've had diarrhea for three fourths of the time I've been here, if I eat breakfast I usually have just some bread. We get bread from the bakery a couple of times a week. Arepas are the most common food here. If you're not familiar, try to imagine the masa from a tamale, but about five inches across and maybe half an inch thick. You either fry it or pan cook it, and then split it and put cheese or ham or something inside. They are pretty tasty, and a big staple. The team leader family here has them for dinner every night. Also here you can get empanadas, which are made from a similar kind of masa, but will have meat or cheese already cooked inside, and those are fried and also very good. We eat plenty of platanos (like a banana), fried or toasted and those are really good. You can get plenty of fruit like mangos, bananas, pineapples, etc., and most of it's pretty good. I've also had chicha once, (which is not the chicha from the jungle, if you know what I mean), and it's sort of like horchata but with condensed milk, and it was delicious! A favorite beverage here is malta, which is fairly similar to rootbeer.
Transportation
To get down the hill from the barrio, we catch a jeep. The jeeps go up and down the hill all day long, and they have two long bench seats in the back where ten people will cram in. Then we might get on the metro, which is actually really nice, and that could take us downtown. It's very inexpensive to take public transportation here. There are also buses and taxis, of course. Most things are at a fixed price. The buses are not as crowded as I experienced in Ecuador where people are just hanging out the side, and they are also cleaner.
Shopping
Shopping is a very tiresome experience here because you have to go to so many different places to get just a few things. You almost never bargain here, which came as a surprise. To get general groceries we take a jeep down the hill and there is a market where we go to different stalls to get produce, coffee, bread, etc. The team knows the people they usually buy from, but I've only gone with them a couple of times so I'm still figuring it out. Last night I took a bus with one of the team members to a drug store, and it was very similar to an American drugstore. It was kind of a relief to be in a clean place with familiar looking items and a familiar way of buying them. They do have malls here, but I haven't been to any yet. We also have little bodegas in the neighborhood, which are like mini-marts attached to someone's home. You can buy basics at the bodega, like eggs, pop, chips, candy, etc. We buy our water at a hardware store in a big jug, and that seems to last us about a week.
Life in the House
To get to the house, you have to go down a couple of dozen stairs, all of which are different and steep. It makes me feel like we're entering a hobbit hole or something. We're under someone else's house, but we can go up to the balcony, which is great. At night with all of the lights it's an amazing view. The water in the shower is very cold, so showers are quick. You can't put any toilet paper down the toilet, so that all goes in the trash. In the kitchen you have to turn on the gas and light the stove with a lighter, but it's pretty efficient. There are lots of little ants in certain places of the house, but as they're so small and not everywhere, it's not too bothersome. We did trap a mouse the other night, after we kept hearing it. I also had seen it one night in the bathroom, and then once it ran down from the sink and across my foot. We set the trap and caught it, which was kind of sad for the mouse, but we sleep better now. We keep all of our dry goods in a big plastic tub so that creatures cannot get to it, and everything else goes in the refrigerator. I'm sleeping on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed and have a little dresser to keep my clothes in. We don't have a washing machine, so we pay a neighbor to wash it in hers, and then she hangs it to dry and we pick it up.
I'll post more soon!
Friday, June 19, 2009
A Week In
It's Friday, and I've now completed one week and one day in Caracas. Each day continues to be full and challenging, but I am starting to develop a sense of familiarity about things.
I've now been to the city center area twice. Caracas has a great metro system. I think I expected Caracas to be very similar to Quito, but it's actually quite different. It's much cleaner, it has this great metro system, and the buses are much more user-friendly. You also don't see nearly as many guards around with machine guns, which was the norm in Quito. However, you do still sense the underlying unrest and violence, even though things appear to be nicer on the surface. We saw the police harassing a young man in the plaza the other day, for no apparent reason. One of the officers hit him on the head and later kicked him, for no apparent reason. The boy appeared terrified, and with good reason. We've heard about the senseless ways kids like him have been shot by the police. Yet, the police are in a very difficult position themselves, because they walk into incredily dangerous situations and know that if they don't shoot first, they may never have the chance. It's hard to imagine how following Jesus' model of nonviolence and peace could have any effect in such entrenched systems, but we must maintain hope.
We visited the neighborhood the other day where we will be starting a kids club. It has a long history of brutal violence, but in recent years has been calmer. The people who live there have welcomed kids clubs from this group in the past, so we are hopeful that any example of peace we can offer will be welomed again. Our first kids club will be next Tuesday, and we'll have them on Tuesdays and Thursdays until us summer folks leave at the end of July. Mostly we will be singing, playing games, and doing skits to model things like forgiveness and love. Forgiveness is not a familiar concept for people here, as most of the violence stems from people taking revenge for one thing or another. It's something I continue to learn for myself, even as I try to live it out as an example for others.
One of the things that has been surprising but encouraging to me about the way InnerCHANGE and the team work here is the way they are able to balance being present here and maintaining important relationships at home. InnerCHANGE really values sustaining its people for long term, so in addition to having a semi-relaxing schedule on Sundays, every Wednesday is a free Sabbath day for us to do gringo things, like going to a park in the city and just reading, or going to the beach. Venezuelans love to be in crowds, but we love to have space to ourselves, so it's incredibly nourishing to be able to recognize that and make space for our "gringo time". It makes it easier to be fully engaged when coming back to the barrio.
Thanks for all of your comments and thoughts. It's a huge blessing to me that I know I have family and friends who care for me and share their own insight.
I've now been to the city center area twice. Caracas has a great metro system. I think I expected Caracas to be very similar to Quito, but it's actually quite different. It's much cleaner, it has this great metro system, and the buses are much more user-friendly. You also don't see nearly as many guards around with machine guns, which was the norm in Quito. However, you do still sense the underlying unrest and violence, even though things appear to be nicer on the surface. We saw the police harassing a young man in the plaza the other day, for no apparent reason. One of the officers hit him on the head and later kicked him, for no apparent reason. The boy appeared terrified, and with good reason. We've heard about the senseless ways kids like him have been shot by the police. Yet, the police are in a very difficult position themselves, because they walk into incredily dangerous situations and know that if they don't shoot first, they may never have the chance. It's hard to imagine how following Jesus' model of nonviolence and peace could have any effect in such entrenched systems, but we must maintain hope.
We visited the neighborhood the other day where we will be starting a kids club. It has a long history of brutal violence, but in recent years has been calmer. The people who live there have welcomed kids clubs from this group in the past, so we are hopeful that any example of peace we can offer will be welomed again. Our first kids club will be next Tuesday, and we'll have them on Tuesdays and Thursdays until us summer folks leave at the end of July. Mostly we will be singing, playing games, and doing skits to model things like forgiveness and love. Forgiveness is not a familiar concept for people here, as most of the violence stems from people taking revenge for one thing or another. It's something I continue to learn for myself, even as I try to live it out as an example for others.
One of the things that has been surprising but encouraging to me about the way InnerCHANGE and the team work here is the way they are able to balance being present here and maintaining important relationships at home. InnerCHANGE really values sustaining its people for long term, so in addition to having a semi-relaxing schedule on Sundays, every Wednesday is a free Sabbath day for us to do gringo things, like going to a park in the city and just reading, or going to the beach. Venezuelans love to be in crowds, but we love to have space to ourselves, so it's incredibly nourishing to be able to recognize that and make space for our "gringo time". It makes it easier to be fully engaged when coming back to the barrio.
Thanks for all of your comments and thoughts. It's a huge blessing to me that I know I have family and friends who care for me and share their own insight.
Monday, June 15, 2009
First Thoughts
Well, I have made it through my first four days in Venezuela! Our orientation in San Francisco was really great. There are a total of eight summerxchange interns in four places: Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, and Caracas, Venezuela. I am one of two interns here in Caracas for the summer. Gabriel, the other intern, is originally from Peru but has spent a lot of time in Quito, so we've had some fun times talking about the places we both know in Ecuador!
One thing I have begun to enjoy with InnerCHANGE is their sense of Christian ecumenism. Every week all the teams across the world meet on the same day to pray, and they follow a very Catholic style of prayer even as they are not a Catholic organization. I have heard other Protestant or evangelical groups talk about how they appreciate things about the Catholic church, but I haven't witnessed any others that express such a seamless blending of many traditions. It's very encouraging, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of how that works.
Here in Caracas I'm living with two other women about my age who are a part of the InnerCHANGE team here. KT has been here for almost two years, and Beth just arrived a couple of months ago. They have been wonderfully gracious and patient hostesses, and I feel so blessed to have them here to help guide me and walk with me through this experience. We live in a little two bedroom apartment that has a little bathroom and tiny kitchen. They've decorated in a way that feels warm and comfortable. In order to get to the apartment we have to descend a number of treacherous stairs. No two stairs are alike here, so you definitely have to watch where you're going! There are some windows, without glass, so we benefit from the really nice breeze that always seems to be blowing through. All the houses look so precarious from the outside, but once you're inside it actually feels pretty secure. Most people here build their houses a little at a time, as they can afford it, so that contributes to the mish-mash appearance of it all.
Speaking Spanish has been incredibly useful to me, of course, but Venezuelan Spanish does have plenty of unique characteristics. I understand about 75% of what people say, but it's amazing how not understanding one or two words can completely throw you off!
One of the most surprising things I've observed so far is that life in Caracas is actually quite comparable to Orange County in some ways. There is a huge discrepancy of wealth and poverty, but even in the barrio where I'm living I'm not sure that it's all that different than some of the neighborhoods in Santa Ana where I work. Everyone here has running water and electricity (though there's no hot water - my mother would be proud of how much less time I spend in the shower!) and if you don't have food you can get it from the government. What is also interesting is that you don't really see homeless or begging people, which I expected based off of my previous overseas experience. Venezuela, as it turns out, is not really a poor country. It just has people who are poor. It is believed that almost half of the people of Caracas live in the barrior. Because the government provides so much assistance, you don' t really see complete destitution. Certainly we do deal with some of the inconveniences you might expect, such as not being able to flush toilet paper, having to wash fresh fruits or vegetables in vinegar, and not being able to drink the water.
Another crazy thing about the barrios here is that they are all high on the hills, so you have the most amazing views of the city. In the U.S. that's prime real estate, but here it's what's set aside for the poor. It's also interesting how at home I can look at photos of barrios and feel a sense of sadness for the people who live there, but when looking across at those same images from within a barrio, it just looks normal and I know that people are living there just like I am in this neighborhood.
I've already had my first bout with diarrhea, but the charcoal pills my doctor recommended seem to have helped a little. Getting sick is a fact of life here, which is stragely comforting. I'm certainly not alone in that experience!
I'm definitely still in kind of robot mode, just going along with everything. My mind is always trying to analyze every situation and make sense of it all, but each day brings something new to consider. With all that I've seen in the last four days, I can't imagine what the coming week will bring!
One thing I have begun to enjoy with InnerCHANGE is their sense of Christian ecumenism. Every week all the teams across the world meet on the same day to pray, and they follow a very Catholic style of prayer even as they are not a Catholic organization. I have heard other Protestant or evangelical groups talk about how they appreciate things about the Catholic church, but I haven't witnessed any others that express such a seamless blending of many traditions. It's very encouraging, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of how that works.
Here in Caracas I'm living with two other women about my age who are a part of the InnerCHANGE team here. KT has been here for almost two years, and Beth just arrived a couple of months ago. They have been wonderfully gracious and patient hostesses, and I feel so blessed to have them here to help guide me and walk with me through this experience. We live in a little two bedroom apartment that has a little bathroom and tiny kitchen. They've decorated in a way that feels warm and comfortable. In order to get to the apartment we have to descend a number of treacherous stairs. No two stairs are alike here, so you definitely have to watch where you're going! There are some windows, without glass, so we benefit from the really nice breeze that always seems to be blowing through. All the houses look so precarious from the outside, but once you're inside it actually feels pretty secure. Most people here build their houses a little at a time, as they can afford it, so that contributes to the mish-mash appearance of it all.
Speaking Spanish has been incredibly useful to me, of course, but Venezuelan Spanish does have plenty of unique characteristics. I understand about 75% of what people say, but it's amazing how not understanding one or two words can completely throw you off!
One of the most surprising things I've observed so far is that life in Caracas is actually quite comparable to Orange County in some ways. There is a huge discrepancy of wealth and poverty, but even in the barrio where I'm living I'm not sure that it's all that different than some of the neighborhoods in Santa Ana where I work. Everyone here has running water and electricity (though there's no hot water - my mother would be proud of how much less time I spend in the shower!) and if you don't have food you can get it from the government. What is also interesting is that you don't really see homeless or begging people, which I expected based off of my previous overseas experience. Venezuela, as it turns out, is not really a poor country. It just has people who are poor. It is believed that almost half of the people of Caracas live in the barrior. Because the government provides so much assistance, you don' t really see complete destitution. Certainly we do deal with some of the inconveniences you might expect, such as not being able to flush toilet paper, having to wash fresh fruits or vegetables in vinegar, and not being able to drink the water.
Another crazy thing about the barrios here is that they are all high on the hills, so you have the most amazing views of the city. In the U.S. that's prime real estate, but here it's what's set aside for the poor. It's also interesting how at home I can look at photos of barrios and feel a sense of sadness for the people who live there, but when looking across at those same images from within a barrio, it just looks normal and I know that people are living there just like I am in this neighborhood.
I've already had my first bout with diarrhea, but the charcoal pills my doctor recommended seem to have helped a little. Getting sick is a fact of life here, which is stragely comforting. I'm certainly not alone in that experience!
I'm definitely still in kind of robot mode, just going along with everything. My mind is always trying to analyze every situation and make sense of it all, but each day brings something new to consider. With all that I've seen in the last four days, I can't imagine what the coming week will bring!
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